God's timing

So we watched church online this morning. Accidentally pulled up last weeks vs. live version. But it was perfect timing. I prayed for peace and understanding and focus through this process. Admittedly, I wallowed a bit in self pity yesterday. God brought a reminder through pastor craig this morning. One day not too long ago, I prayed that I would do anything to be a mom. Layden came (and not with simplicity) and I never knew a love this big. I also have long since surpressed the difficulties i expericenced with layden by the lifechanging memories we have made. And now we are blessed with a baby girl and I'm upset because I can't do stuff with friends or enjoy activities with Layden. What the heck is wrong with me? This is a part of my "do anything" to be a mom. Seems so trivial but no matter how my brain rationalizes it my heart does hurt for the sacrifice. While this feels like a very long road. Actually it's really not, in relation to the life for which we are responsible. This is definitely a test of every part of my character. I pray that god uses this time to work in me and through me. I have to constantly let go of what doesn't matter right now and allow the focus to be on what does. A life. Nothing more important than this!