Hardest Job is the best job!

Stole this from an Olympics commerical....  "hardest job is the best job!  thanks, mom"  Its so true.  I remember being on bedrest with Layden and thinking that I couldn't wait to meet my handsome little man.  Now, at 19 weeks today, I sit on bedrest patiently fulfilling God's purpose for me.  God has big plans for this beautiful little angel.  So what might appear, to me, to be wasting time or making me feel unproductive, I still hold the title of Leland's wife and mom to these two little miracles.

Being a mom is the hardest but most rewarding job I have ever had.  And we all know that nothing that is worth having is easy.

I also believe in vision and goals.  And that is one reason this bedrest difficult.  But since I have to have one, I just need to readjust my goals, temporarily and allow my long term goals to be on hold.  Well, frankly, even short term ones before this.

God is placing seeds of encouragement daily through his word, our peeps (thank you so much for the support, we wouldn't know what to do without you), tv, and reading, etc...... I thank him for allowing me to never be alone.  When I find my security in Him, my anxiety subsides and if I always trusted in that it would disappear for good.

God's timing

So we watched church online this morning. Accidentally pulled up last weeks vs. live version. But it was perfect timing. I prayed for peace and understanding and focus through this process. Admittedly, I wallowed a bit in self pity yesterday. God brought a reminder through pastor craig this morning. One day not too long ago, I prayed that I would do anything to be a mom. Layden came (and not with simplicity) and I never knew a love this big. I also have long since surpressed the difficulties i expericenced with layden by the lifechanging memories we have made. And now we are blessed with a baby girl and I'm upset because I can't do stuff with friends or enjoy activities with Layden. What the heck is wrong with me? This is a part of my "do anything" to be a mom. Seems so trivial but no matter how my brain rationalizes it my heart does hurt for the sacrifice. While this feels like a very long road. Actually it's really not, in relation to the life for which we are responsible. This is definitely a test of every part of my character. I pray that god uses this time to work in me and through me. I have to constantly let go of what doesn't matter right now and allow the focus to be on what does. A life. Nothing more important than this!

Perspective

Baby girl Gray due nov. 7 @ 18 weeks put on aggressive bed rest til at least 28 weeks. This bad rest is harder than before Layden because of Layden. But blessed beyond measure at the awesome responsibility to do what We need to do to bring another child of God into the world. The things I will miss pale in comparison to her lifetime of memories and the legacy she will carry on. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 "rejoice always , pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is Gods will for you in Christ Jesus" Last post was from July 11...Posting about the grief of losing our 2nd baby. God doesn't Do anything on accident! We will always remember and see that precious life in heaven someday.